Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
