D3 body, D1 cock
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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