Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
