I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
