So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
