Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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