I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
