Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
