My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
