last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
