Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
