you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
