But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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