Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
