The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
