Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
