I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
