u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
