Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
