dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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