worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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