If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
