i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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