the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We have so much sex to catch up on
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
