Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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