He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
