Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
