i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
