her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I believe in your delicious
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
