Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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