Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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