oh god the rape fog is back!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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