You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Mom said you looked used
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
