k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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