are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
