no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
