I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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