Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he was CRYING into my vagina
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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