awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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