All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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