dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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