I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
