from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
