It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
