If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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