Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
