I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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