I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
