The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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