And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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